I have some breaking news: last night, a bunch of US soldiers in Afghanistan got drunk, left their base and went out at 3AM. Some interesting stuff happened, but before I get into it check out this excellent joke:
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck!
They invaded a few random houses and killed everyone inside. It was all civilians - 16 of them - and there were loads of women and children. In other news:
Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!
They poured gasoline over the dead bodies and set them on fire. Normally this kind of 'covering up the evidence' thing would put a stop to any insanity defence, but let's be honest here. These are the US military courts we're talking about. Joke-time:
Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.
Case in point. You might have heard about the Haditha massacre. If you haven't, it was when 24 unarmed Iraqi men, women and children (including elderly people) were shot at close range by US soldiers as revenge for an earlier attack by insurgents. Eight marines were charged with the offence, but six had their charges dropped and a seventh was found not guilty. The only dude who was found guilty was the leader of the squad, and he was sentenced a few weeks ago. He received a grand total of zero days in prison, for a single count of 'negligent dereliction of duty'. However he did have to suffer a small pay cut for his part in the murders. Joke time.
Q. What's round and bad-tempered?
A. A vicious circle.
Nah, that was pretty rubbish. Lets try another:
Q: What happened to the frog when he parked on double yellow lines?
A: He got toad away.
I need to add, I don't want to give a bad picture of how military law works. Sometimes soldiers do get substantial sentences for their crimes. Take Corporal Jeremy Morlock for example. This dude really wanted to kill people, as you do, but since he was too useless to kill the enemy he decided he would just kill some civilians instead. He convinced four buddies to spend a few weeks hatching a plan to kill civilians, and they would get away with it by planting weapons next to their bodies. He killed 3 civilians and received a 24 year sentence. Seeing as he'll be out in 12 years, that means he got 4 years for each murder. Here's the twist: a single murder in the civilian world carries a life sentence. He only got 4 years per murder because this is a military court, with a military judge and prosecutor, and, well, they look after their own.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.